1 in 3 Brazilian Parents Caught Their Kids Making Secret App Purchases — The Real Question Is Who Is Raising Our Children

The news

On Tuesday, October 6, Serasa — one of Brazil’s major credit bureaus — released a survey conducted with Instituto Opinion Box ahead of Brazil’s Children’s Day (October 12). It heard from 1,066 parents and guardians of children up to 18 years old across Brazil, between August 31 and September 15, with a margin of error of three percentage points, according to reports by Extra and InfoMoney (both in Portuguese).

The headline number: 32% of parents have caught their children making purchases in apps, games or digital platforms without their knowledge or permission. In most of those cases (60%), the amount was up to R$100. In addition, 53% believe social media increases children’s desire to consume, 60% say their kids already use these platforms, and 31% say their child has an account of their own. On the other hand, 72% see themselves as their children’s main source of guidance about money.

An honest caveat: Serasa is a credit company with a stated interest in financial education, and this is a questionnaire answered by parents, not a peer-reviewed study. The numbers reflect what parents perceive, not measured behavior. Still, they match what I hear in many homes — in Brazil and in the United States.

What follows is my opinion, as a husband, a father, and someone who walks with couples in crisis.

The problem isn’t the money

When a parent discovers a hidden charge on the card, the first reaction is usually financial: “How much was it?” And the amount is usually small. Some virtual coins, a skin, an extra life in a game.

But I want you to look at another number from the same survey: more than half of parents believe social media increases their kids’ desire to consume. In other words, we already know that someone on the other side of the screen is teaching our children what to want. Teaching them what has value, what it means to be accepted, what they supposedly “need.”

The Bible has an old name for this: “the lust of the eyes” (1 John 2:16). It isn’t a new sin. What is new is the speed — and the fact that it now lives in the pocket of a ten-year-old, with Dad’s card saved on the device.

The problem isn’t the bill. It’s discipleship. If I’m not shaping my child’s heart, someone else is.

Screens are already discipling — the question is whether you are too

God gave parents — not the school, not the church, not the algorithm — the first responsibility for forming their children: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).

Notice: the text doesn’t describe one big lecture a year. It describes conversations on the couch, in the car, at bedtime, at breakfast. Discipleship is repeated presence. And that is exactly the space — the couch, the car, bedtime — that screens have taken over in so many homes.

The good news in the survey is that 72% of parents still see themselves as their kids’ main reference on money. Authority is still with us. But authority that isn’t exercised slowly gets outsourced.

And let’s be honest: very often a child’s phone is just a mirror of our own. It’s hard to ask a kid to put the screen down when he has never seen his father put his down. Earlier today I wrote here about marriage and social media, and the principle is the same: what we consume every day shapes what we desire.

Mom and Dad have to decide together

This is where marriage comes in. In many homes, a child’s secret purchase turns into a fight between the parents: “You’re the one who left the card saved.” “You’re the one who gave him the phone.” “You’re too soft.” “You’re too harsh.”

Kids are smart. They quickly find the gap between Mom and Dad — and walk right through it.

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” (Amos 3:3). Before setting a rule for the child, the couple needs to agree with each other. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It has to be united. A simpler rule that both parents uphold teaches more than a perfect rule one parent imposes and the other undoes.

And to fathers specifically, a direct word: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Two things in one verse. Not passivity (“let it go, it’s just a game”), and not explosion (“I’m going to smash that phone”). Training with presence. Correction inside a relationship.

Some practical steps, from a pastor to a family

This is not financial or technical advice. It’s what I’ve seen work in Christian homes:

1. Talk as a couple before you talk to your child. Agree on the rule, the limit and the consequence in private. Then speak to your child together.
2. Remove saved cards from your kids’ devices and turn on parental approval in the app stores. That isn’t distrust; it’s protection.
3. If a secret purchase already happened, address the heart, not just the amount. Ask what they wanted, why they hid it, how they felt. Hiding is a bigger problem than spending.
4. Teach contentment by example. “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5). Children learn contentment by watching parents who aren’t always chasing the next thing.
5. Win back one screen-free time slot a day. A meal, a walk, bedtime. Small, but faithful.

Presence before presents

Brazil celebrates Children’s Day next Monday, October 12. Retailers will say love is measured by the size of the gift. I want to remind you of something else: no toy replaces a father who sits on the floor, a mother who listens, a couple who respect each other in front of their kids.

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). That’s a principle of wisdom, not a magic guarantee. But it is an invitation: the way is taught by walking it together.

I used to be the problem in my own marriage, and I learned that everything rebuilt inside a home is rebuilt brick by brick. It’s the same with our children. One conversation at a time. One boundary at a time. One “I love you” at a time.

And if your marriage is so worn out that the two of you can’t even agree on your child’s phone, maybe the first step isn’t the screen rule — it’s the two of you. Vanessa Lima and I share about faith, marriage and family every week on our YouTube channel and on Instagram at O Casal Legendário. Come walk with us.